Thursday, March 11, 2010

The good in goodbye. When did it ever make sense?


My best friend left for Australia way back after high school graduation. I feel we've drifted apart. We still update each other of course. Exchanging of e-mails, facebook updates, etc. But it's never been the same. It's not the same without hanging out after school hours on the school benches or late-nights phone calls that take up hours. She'd admit that too, I'm pretty sure.



And tomorrow, another close friend of mine is leaving. Not for good, but for a pretty long time. Too long for a girl like me who counts on him to make me smile in times of stagnation.

Tomorrow, I'd be sitting beside someone else in class.
I'm happy for him for finally deciding to go. It's not everyday that you'd have to give up something you truly love for something you just feel you had to do, but you weren't so sure about it. I'm glad he made a choice.

Alam kong hate na hate niya ang pagiging mushy at emo ko, but I will just have to say all these. Mamimiss ko siya. Alam niya na yun kasi ilang beses ko na din sinabi sa kanya. Hindi ko siya best friend or boyfriend or anything. Friend. Nothing more, nothing less. That's the beauty of it. Bihira lang ang lalaking ganyan sa buhay ko. Maybe that's why I like being with him so much. Ang nakakatawa, hindi niya ako literal na tinutulungan sa mga problema ko, pero madalas sa kanya parin ako humihingi ng tulong. Wala siyang advice or hug, WALA. Ang palaging pang-lutas niya sa mga problema ko, joke na super corny, pick-up line, katangahan, or sariling kwento niya, hindi sapilitang advice. Syempre minsan nakakagago din kapag sobrang hagulgol ever na ko tas magpapatawa lang siya. Pero nakakatawa parin kahit nakakagago. Hahaha. Madami akong mamimiss for a year. Pick-up lines, FIC bonding, Cello's bonding, doodles during class, never-ending sermons, etc. Di ko din alam what's so special about him, but he's a really good friend that's kind of hard to let go. The boy/man na sobrang totoo, malapit kay Papa God, may paninindigan, matalino.... Mayabang, epal, feeling, chismoso, etc., is someone who makes me glad I got into UP. Kahit palagi niya akong inaaway at nilalait at kahit wala siyang pake minsan, I still love him and I'll miss him and his kulot hair.

Last Saturday we had dinner and when I got home, I realized that I've been so much into not letting him go because I'll miss him and I can't be all smiles without him. I didn't really think about him now did I? I thought about myself. So pano nga naman siya? Now, I can absolutely say that I'm glad he's going and I wish him all the luck. Same goes for my best friend.

It makes sense. We only part to meet again.

Roger, ingat sa Korea.
Mae, I miss you so.


15 comments:

Chyng said...

when? I cant answer that. You'll just know it someday. Ü

ʎonqʎʇıɔ said...

:c this is sad. siguro we just have to believe this is happening for a reason.

kaya pala ganun comment mo sa post ko. sorry naman. hehe

choknat said...

"We only part to meet again."

i like it. :)

Pau said...

@Chyng
I agree. Kaya nga in the end, I realized it does make sense after all. :D

@citybuoy
Yun lang. Tayo na ang parehong kelangan tumanggap ng mga pangyayari. Haha. Yes. Naka-relate ako sa post mo ng very much.

Pau said...

@mishi
Hmmm. Yeah I guess. More than a friend, yes. But nothing romantic. Hahaha! Life IS beautiful! Couldn't agree more! Thanks for dropping by! :D

@choknat
Me too. ;)

Jakey Junkie said...

I don't know much, but getting stuck in the "friendship zone" has its perks and downsides.

But on to the topic, physically lang siyang mawawala. If you're inseparable, then you are. Connection and communication are your friends right now.

lucas said...

parting is such a sweet sorrow...hehe!

lucas said...

"We only part to meet again."

---This is not applicable sa mga ngabreak right? haha! kidding...

i miss my HS friends. and I agree. something will change...definitely.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm. What can I say?
Impromptu article :))))

I do not know, effective talaga yung hindi ko iniisip na malayo ako dyan sa Pilipinas. Yes, I miss my family, my friends, my countrymen and I miss you, but I dont feel emo. Ewan ko kung bakit. Maybe God was able to nod at your prayers that I be okay here. Or maybe sanay lang ako na ganito, yung mag-isa. I do not know. O baka naman emo talaga ako ngayon, ayoko lang aminin. But I know, deep in my heart, I'm scared, afraid, I feel lonely, alone, etc etc.

Reading your post made my heart smile. (If ever hearts really smile. Haha) I was really thankful that you see me that way. Hahaha. But seriously, siguro naman nararamdaman mo, you're something different. In short, iba ka. haha.The truth is, it is really hard to create ad sustain this kind of friendship with you. Pinahirapan mo ako. :)) kasi sabi nila, walang lalaki na hindi magkakagusto sayo. And I think that is right. Struggle siya. Haha.

Lahat ng nabanggit mo sa post mo, sa mga moments natin, sa mga pag-uugali ko na maganda at hindi maganda (haha) na pinakita sayo, o sa kung anumang tulong o walang naitulong na dulot ko sayo, lahat yun naman, is because I really want you to be happy. That's it. Syempre, mahirap sa isang introvert na katulad ko ang makipagkaibigan sa tulad mong uber extrovert na nilalang, pero I am just amazed how close I am with you. (naalala ko si sarah g., sabi niya 'Gaano ka-close?' hahahaha) And all's worth it naman at sobra-sobra pa. Haha.

I can't make an emo post. Sorry. Haha. Impromptu moment and I am not prepared sa nabasa ko. Ang emo mo talaga. Haha. But you know naman, emo or not, I am really thankful na nakilala at nakasama kita. No need for emo quotes or saying, plain statement. I value this friendship.

Well, I really can't tell if I made the right choice the moment I boarded my plane for Korea. Giving up something I really love doing for something I just felt I had to do was really hard. But I think leaving the person whom I love for the sake of grabbing this opportunity is a lot harder.

peenkfrik said...

OMG, you two are in love.

Try to take good care of the friendship and try harder not to drift apart.

This is one rare thing you have guys....

Good luck! :)

Pau said...

@Jakey Junkie
I like the 2nd part of your message. TRUTH.

@lucas
Hmmmm. Depende siguro sa sitwasyon ng nagbreak. Hahahaha! Pero in general, parang hindi nga applicable! :))

Iba talaga ang highschool.

Pau said...

@Anonymous

So you're saying na sa lagay na yan, hindi ka pa emo? Hahahaha. Ikaw na ang in-denial. =))

Kuya, baka naman nagffeeling ka lang at hindi pala tungkol sa'yo itong post ko. Comment comment ka dyan. :))

But in a less-gago note, everything I wrote here is true. So that includes missing everything about you! Yun lang. I'm actually very surprised sa reaction mo regarding this post. I never really knew that you value me or our friendship this much. Dahil nga palagi mo akong inaaway at inaapi. But it's fun that way. Right? :)) I have a lot to say about that long-ass comment. But I'd rather not dahil napaka-emo na at baka kung ano pang issue ang lumabas. Alam mo naman, mahirap na... SIKAT KA PA NAMAN. Hahaha!

Just to let you know, I value this friendship more than you think I do. Salamat traydor. XD

Pau said...

@peenkfrik
WHAT! Hahahaha! I have no idea how to react to that. But hey, think whatever you want. Para may thrill. LOL! :))

Anonymous said...

@ peenkfrik: yep. we're in love. hahaha.

@pau: hmmmm. misss. hindi ako nagfifeeling. alam ko namang hindi tungkol sken to. kilala mo ba ako? anonymous diba. feeling mo naman ako yang roger na yan. nagcomment lang ako dun sa nabasa ko. duh.

wag kang assuming, okay? hahahaha.

Anonymous said...

and I think your Anonymous will be back soon. very very soon. rawr :)

hmmmm. let me quote something from anonymous. 'Reading your post made my heart smile. (If ever hearts really smile. Haha)' (Anonymous,2010) In this time na nalulungkot ako, reading your post is a relief. Remember my hesitation when I left? Mas grabe pa yung hesitation ko ngayon leaving this land of Kimchi. I don't want to leave.Yet. Hindi ko alam kung may babalikan pa ako dyan or something. And my life here is so free. I feel my independence from my family, my country, my society, my friends and myself. So I think letting go of that independence makes it so hard for me to leave.

Anyway, let's have some donuts or ice cream when I get back. Anonymous will be there soon :)