Monday, January 18, 2010

Counting stars to name your lies.

I never really expected this to be easy. To just close my eyes one night and wake up the next morning to sunshine and butterflies. That's called a dream. A happy ending. Something actually very far from where I am standing now. Today, I found myself looking at you. Not the you that took me to paradise. But the you that's been haunting me day and night. The you that tore me apart. The you that I wasted and shed tears on.

You promised me that we'll find this someday.
I did. But then after I did... I lost you.

Until now I still cannot believe this all had to happen... But it did. And as they always say, things do happen for a reason. A reason which we are to find out sooner or later. I'm really impatient that way. That whenever I see you, I beg God to please just lay down the cards and get it all over with. But he didn't do that. He taught me to stand on my own. The only thing i need to do is to repeat that to myself every single minute... "Just trying to teach you a lesson."

I have so much work to do for the week. I have 2 long exams, 4 papers, 2 presentations, and an exposure trip (plus plus). AND YES, fate just happen to make its way down my life TODAY to keep it rockin'. Thanks for that. Now I'd have to make MORE effort to keep my mind in my school work. HELLLLLLLL YEAH~ And as I always say..... LIFE'S AMAZING THIS WAY.

P.S. Pwede niyo ako tawaging emo.
P.P.S.S. Pero I believe lahat tayo may emo side.
P.P.P.S.S.S. Bawal kumontra. Hahaha.


citybuoy said...

it's okay to be emo every now and then. having a blog allows us to vent what we cannot say elsewhere. i hope you feel better.

nice place you got here. *following*

Pau said...

That's true. The main reason I actually have a blog is because I'm kind of emo. Thank you. :)

Followed you too. :D

jeszieBoy said...

emo ako. haha.
goddluck sa mga exaaams! :]

Pau said...

Ayan! Umamin dapat! Hahaha. Thaaaaanks. :D

Yodz said...

Very well said. Sincerity never fails to move me.
I love this line:

"Today, I found myself looking at you. Not the you that took me to paradise. But the you that's been haunting me day and night. The you that tore me apart. The you that I wasted and shed tears on."

I instantly remember my college days, somebody broke my heart, and all I did was cry sa inuman ng mga tropa... he he.. super emo talaga.
Mapapangiti ka na lang pag naaalala mo.

BTW, goodluck sa studies and to all the challenges.
Looking forward to more of your posts!

Pau said...

Awww. Thanks. Yeah. Kung saan saan ko na nga lang nadadaan to'ng pagiging heartbroken ko eh. One day, tatawanan ko na lang talaga ang lahat! Sana dumating na si "one day"! Hahaha. Salamat ulit! :D

Looking forward to yours too! ;)

dragonfly said...

Hey! Just keep a stiff upper lip. I'm counting on that. Okay? :)

lucas said...

just vent it out pau. it's your blog. don't mind a thing people say here. the blog should benefit the blogger first and foremost :)

i believe it's safe to assume that heart is kinda broken eh? just stand firm and deal with pain. that's the only way to deal with it. evasion would only make the torment worse :)

i have you on my roll, pau.

tim said...

hehehehehehe, emo means emotional, and it is okay..

Pau said...

Awww, I promise! Thanks. :'D

I believe that too. I'm just kind of sensitive about these stuff... That people might say things I wouldn't really like. But thank you so much for reminding me. I NEEDED THAT.

Dealing with pain is the hardest thing I know. But after dealing with it is the best feeling on earth. :')

Thanks. I have yours too. :)

Pau said...


TAMA! Nakakaasar lang that people think emo is another term for baduy. SO NOT TRUE. Hahaha. :))

Manech said...

The first paragraph was too close for comfort. Sigh.

Double sigh.

You write really well, btw. :)

Pau said...

Triple sigh. So true I couldn't even imagine I was the feeling this.

Thanks Manech, you write really well too!! :)

peenkfrik said...

Things go wrong for a reason. For now focus with school work. Kaya mo 'yan gurl. ;)

Pau said...

I'm sure they do. And I am totally tryiiiiiiiiing! Hahahaha. Hirap! :)) But thanks super. :>

Boris said...

hehehe yup tama ka we all have our emo sides. we just have to live with it :)

Mac Callister said...

ang sarap kayang magpaka emo!hahaha

and goodluck on your school work!

gosh they sucks!

but i miss college life as well.its my first time here,hi!

Manech said...

It's good then, that you wrote it in retrospect. There are certain things, I believe, that we can't really write immediately, and a pain like this is one of those.

Pau said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pau said...

Rigggggggggght? RIGHT? Hahaha. Some people are just weird like that. They deny it. kasi. :|

@Mac Callister
That is actually true! Walang thrill kapag walang emo moments. LOL. :)) OH GOSH. How could you miss it?? I'M LITERALLY DYING BECAUSE OF SCHOOL. Hahahaha. @_@

It's not really easy to write about pain. YEP. TRUE TRUE. But you know, its kind a way of let it go bit by bit. :)

dragonfly said...

Okay ka na? Yehey :)

Pau said...

Okay na okay! Salamat sa inyo! :D