So it's 10:17pm on my clock and I'm supposed to be up and running by 4am tomorrow and be ready to be picked up by a friend. It's just that I won't be able to sleep tonight without writing down how much my world suddenly turned around.

So as you see (2 previous entries), I've been on the rocks earlier this week. A couple of people got my heart broken (in a not romantic way) and I felt like a little boy with cooties being teased on at school. It wasn't very nice. Having cooties isn't really my fault, why be so mean to me? Well for a fact, I ain't that boy with this imaginary disease. I'm this girl in college who keeps on denying the truth that I make mistakes too. For one, I should really stop being so ambitious about being peaceful and kind.

Wednesday took me to places I didn't want to be. Places where truth was out to get me. I hate finding out the truth especially when I know it means I'm wrong. But hey, I'll have to face it sooner or later, so why bother hiding?

Friday to present, everything isn't oh-so-perfect, really. But God and these "couple of people" gave me those 2nd chances I somehow don't deserve, I hope I don't bring them down again. But if I do, I should make sure I'm ready to get down on my knees and pray. Yeah.

So anyway. One time, big time breakaway: Beach trip tomorrow with friends! Haha. Talk about de-stressing. Overshariiiiiing. :p


And again, kahit alam kong di niyo babasahin to', I just want to apologize one more time and thank you for humbly accepting me and my stupid attitude. Whut. XD

Hindi ako masaya.
Nag-iisa ako.
Wala akong makausap.
Wala akong matakbuhan.
Malungkot ako.
Wasak.

MASAYA NA KAYO?
OKAY NA BA?

ENJOY.

This crazy world I live in.

Some people may tell you they love you, they would go places for you, far places, and they’d do crazy, funny, sweet, amazing stuff for you. The feeling – grand. There’s this security you find in this person that you know you’re not alone. But the security, it doesn’t last. There’s always something after that, something in return. Love, yeah you could say that. But what if it’s not the exact same definition? What if that’s not what you want?

What you want – someone who would go wild with you, go on adventures, drink beer, walk miles, play cards, eat junk, buy cheap stuff, someone who would listen, and talk, someone real, no bull. But someone who could stay this way for the longest time, and doesn’t expect anything more than what there is at present.

I guess I’m just tired of the fact that there may be hundreds and thousands of guys out there who would do everything for this girl – but when they find out there’s nothing in it for them, there really is NOTHING. They vanish into thin air. And the girl… is left with nothing but the memory of how much someone once loved her, when that someone thought there was something more than that at the other end.

But yeah. Why work hard for something you know you can’t have? I don’t know. Honestly. There’s not a lot of people everywhere you can be yourself with, why throw it away? There’s always this fine line of… “I liked being your friend more than trying to be your boyfriend. As a friend, you would stay longer in my life. Exes don’t have much of a lifespan.”

Easy for me to say, huh? Not really. It hurts me to hurt people I’ve learned to love. But what hurts me more, is that these people, could get away with it just like that. We build up this good friendship, I learn to tell him the craziest things in the craziest places, I learn to cry, and laugh, and joke around without having to worry about what he’d think of me. But at the end of the day, the worry is – it won’t last. Living proof of why they say that everything will always have something in return.

Hey you. Yes you. The one reading this. Think you’re too fat? Too skinny? What about too tall, short, ugly, worthless, or anything else along those lines? Well guess what. I think you all are beautiful. I think you all deserve to wake up with a smile on your face, and go to bed with a smile on your face. You all deserve happiness. Screw the boy that broke your heart, and fuck the girl that messed with your feelings. Forget about your parents, and what they say to you. Don’t worry about them. Think about your future. How nice it’s going to be in 20 years from now, to be laying in a bed with the one you love, and just knowing that you’re the one that the other one wants to be with forever. Think about all the success you’re going to do, and how many smiles you’re going to put on someones face. Think about your future kids, and grand-children. Think about what you are going to do with your life. In 20 years from now, everything that is happening now, won’t matter ! at all. You might not remember anything that is happening right now. If you think you have it bad, think about all the things you have in life. Have a roof over your head? Yes, well someone else in this world doesn’t. Have clothes on your back? Yeah, well someone else in this world doesn’t. You have your friends? There’s someone else in the world that doesn’t. You still have your life, you have your heart, your eyes, your ears, your legs, your feet, your arms, your hands, and most importantly, you have someone that is going to love you for who you are. You may not know them now, and you may not think that they do, but they do. And they will give up anything, just to be with you. Now, smile because you’re always going to have it better than someone else out there. Don’t frown because something happened, that isn’t going to matter later in life.

(Not my own words)

It's not that I have nothing to say.
It's that I don't know which of all these things is worth all the talking.
I bet you'll say "ALL OF 'EM".
I know right.
There's just not enough processing and time going on.

But I'll be back soon.